Precious Twins of Mine...

I'm so happy to came across my twin boys photos that was captured at my friends wedding 9 years ago. They were 9 years old back then and was really cute to see. Looking at it makes me really missing and wanting them dearly. I just wish they stop growing at that age as that was the moment I was really needed most by them. The twins used to nagged me on things and will agitate me by teasing around with each other that lead them both quarrelling and run to me just to make me listen to who triggers who incident among them. At that point of time all I could remembered was being annoyed and would constantly telling them off to stop doing so. And that instance my wish was for them to grow up fast!!!

Emirul my second twin is always known as the cunning one who are born talented and also book and street smart. Emirul will always be the leader between them both and Emir is just a plain follower who cant decide on things most of the time. Emir too is born with brilliant IQ but somehow get over shadowed by his twin brother who are fortunately are gifted to manipulate and balance between book smart and street smart equally, that makes him more confident in making decisions at all times.

Emir would just obliged and agreed to his younger brother as he prefers joining him and get punished by it together rather left alone with nothing to do. I normally blamed Emir for Emirul's mistakes and keep reminding that as a big brother, he should take care of his 16 minutes younger brother by making sure his brother will not misbehaved and that if he does, its Emir that need to be punished more as he is being irresponsible for allowing it to happen.

As they grow, the contrast between both of them seems more obvious where Emirul stand with his own principal in life and that if its for better or worst are just besides the point. The bad thing about it is that he tend to be overconfident with himself and lead life by making decision with what he believed and that opinions of others are just not relevant to think about.

Emir on the other hand is so indecisive in whatever he does and would just stick to being a skeptical follower to whoever happen to be more manipulative and outstanding at that point of time. That carries him with no determination with any things he held or does and end up it being incomplete should there be any interference that may come along the way.

At teenager's life that full of exciting movements they are at now, my concerned and opinions meant nothing at all but just plain extreme nuisance for them to listen. I end up being a bad person who don’t seems to understand them at all resulting them creating distance towards me. I then bare their painful statement or actions by shutting myself off towards their satisfaction.

When scenerio like this occured, I just wish the twins are still my little cuddling boys where they will turn to me with hugs and kisses even when I'm at my highest level anger mode. I have to admit that I do miss the time they used to nagged me to come back home fast simply to hear them telling and asking me for things or even quarrelling for it...

In whatever age or behavior they are into, I believed my love for him will be placed the same as the first time their heart beat grown in me 17 years back... I can't wait for the day to come where I will be made important again in their life... Hope it would not be too long from now as waiting is just too pain to swallow most of the time... Insyallah..

Ilustrations of Love on Valentine's Day...

What is Valentine to me???'

For me, Valentine is just a special day to shout about, in order for our loved ones to notice or realised on the existing of each other's love.

After being together for a certain period its normal for a person to take things for granted with each other even with or without realising it. By giving an alarm on the coming of Valentine day, at least we can just use it as an excused to get intimate with each other even for just one day at least... By celebrating it with dinner and a little gift, I can assure you that the love feelings will be waken up and you will then realised that you are somehow appreciated.

To me, Valentine is just a day to celebrate our love with the person that means everything to you and its got nothing to do with any religious matters.

I received a valentine card from my darling Syahnaz which she got it done in school, meant for me and my hubby. I can tell you it does makes us feel special in every ways...

Yesterday, she had made some sketches at my cousin's place elaborating on our family love on Valentine's day.

I thought it is very sweet of her to do so, and it really makes me proud of her in understanding what love is all about...

Daddy...

Syahnaz..

Mummy...

Mummy, Daddy & Syahnaz...



Abang @ Kokok...

Syahnaz illustrations of our Family Potrait...

She keeps mentioning how much she loves each of us while drawing this. There's only one abang here, as the other one is helping mama da it seems. The tiny image in between Daddy and Kokok is her baby sister in mummy's tummy... Hehehehe ;D

In her dreams I guess....

A Mother's Love...

I was at my cousin's place in Ampang for lunch yesterday, after her pastering me to come over to collect a dress that her husband bought for Syahnaz sometime ago. She was too paranoid if I further delayed the visit, the dress might not fit Syahnaz as she knows that my daughter keeps growing up fast or in other words that Syahnaz loves eating and never stop putting on weight. It was so sweet and thoughtful of both of them to have bought Syahnaz the dress which fits well accept for a bit tied on the chest part. If only I have taken it earlier kan. Hhmmm….

I take the opportunity to make Anisah cook my favourite ''ayam kicap'' which is second best compared to my mum's. There she goes cooking it with additional dishes consist of butter prawn, long beans with fishballs, daging kijang goreng kunyit and ikan parang masak chili padi. It was so yummy that I ate twice which is for lunch and before I leave her house thinking it will be months after I will taste my favorite dish again.

After threating me the fantastic foods, I was made to accompany Anisah to bring lunch at school for her youngest daughter who is now in Primary 1. To my disbelieved, she has been doing this and never failed doing it ever since her daughter starts school last month. Anisah will simply be there just to accompany her child during recess time, to feed her and to attend to the child request of buying things at the canteen. She even go to the extend of walking the child to her class once recess time is over.

I was stunted by her actions and concluded that she loved doing this as a routine and refused to let go of her child for the fact of a pure mother's love... It is truly deep and unconditional love that appears clearly from her eyes when she patiently feed the lunch she cooked meant for her innocent child.

I also in the same time thought that such actions will lead the child of not being independent. But I guess, there's a long way to go for the child to be on her own and Anisah's child is super lucky to have tasted and felt her mother's endless love to the fullest....

I somehow wonder whether all these sacrifice will be paid off without any rebellious actions that normally given by the children at this era. Would they turn up to be up to our expectations??? Would they be going against us when we are no more needed or wanted?? What if they only be seeing our bad points rather than the opposite? Well, should any of these happen, I must say it would be a such a tremendous hurt for all parents I’m sure...

I would stress my thoughts here that as a son or a daughter, one must not forget the hardships and sufferings that their mothers have gone through in bringing up life and taking good care of them. Otherwise, I personally feel he or she is worse off than a beast. Mothers brought up their children whole heartedly with ultimate compassion and sympathy. It may be in various forms or ways but still, it is the same type of unconditional love.

I always believe that I have given my all and the best to my children. I am now hoping that they will in return willingly cherish me with their tender love and care when I’m old and not much needed by them…

My deepest and sincere thanks to all mothers in the world can only be expressed as follows:

British English: Thank you very much, my dearest mums! I love you!
Mandarin: Feichang Xiexienin, Wo Qinai de mama! Wo ai nin!
Malays: Terima kasih buat ibuku tersayang! Saya cinta padamu, ibu!
Japanese: Doomoarigatoo, watashi no okaasan! Aishiteru yo!
Korean: Taedanhi kamsahamnida, ne sarang hanun omma! Sarangheyo!
Spanish: Muchas gracias, mi querida mama! Te quiero!

Mother's love is indeed very great and priceless!

Hand Foot & Mouth Dramas Conclusions...

So, I was at Dr. Wong's clinic for further check-up on Syahnaz mouth disease on Wednesday. I'm amazed to see so many parents waiting for the doctor's consultation and medication. Obviously there are lots of kids not being well these days.

As per routine the nurse took Syahnaz weight and height and I was suprised when the nurse informed that Syahnaz weight is 25kg when Sunway Medical told me last 2 night that she is 20.5 kg. I remembered that I was feeling worried that she lost weight drasticly but concluded that maybe its lost weight due to to the fact that she is now in school. Well, one mistake spotted that instant to Medical Sunway nurse which I dont want to take it too hard at that point of time.

Anyway, when my turn finally popped up, I anxiously explained to the doctor on all history that has been happening to my poor girl. She proceed with the necessary checkups and immediately told me its fungus that are all around Syahnaz mouth and tongue. Apparently its called THRUSH which may caused by Syahnaz putting hands in her mouth (which she always do) or putting foods in her mouth with dirty hands.

Dr. Wong then prescribed me an oral gel named Daktarin and assured me that Syahnaz would be recovered from the fungus in 2 to 3 days time. She is even fit for school as the disease its not being contagious. It was such a relieved to hear at such.

I was also asked to immediately stop the antibiotics given by Sunway Medical that she claimed its not antibiotics as I was told. I don’t bother asking what was it instead, to avoid further frustration in me towards Sunway Medical‘s doctor.

I questioned Dr. Wong on the explanations given by Sunway Medical doctor which is really contradicting from hers. She was too nice to answer that Sunway Medical may never experience such disease and for that reason they then jump into conclusion by advising to put my girl under observation instead.

Can you guys accept that???? Well...... I don’t!!!! Imagine me being paranoid and not sleeping in peace to monitor my girl since the incident took place, when its actually not that serious at all....

What a pity right...

Above is the letter given by Dr. Wong to Syahnaz principal in school, explaining on the symptoms Syahnaz is facing and also for assurance that Syahnaz is clean from Hand, Foot & Mouth Disease, which I thought is very smart of Dr. Wong to do so...

Hand Foot & Mouth Dramas...

It was a shocked of my life to see lots of ulcers all over Syahnaz mouth and white spots on her tongue, when I was about to make her brush her teeth preparing for bed on Monday night. That explained why she was not having much appetite earlier and I felt bad as I have realized that but totally ignored it, taking advantage into making her to loose more weight.

It has been a definate panic situation where I jumped into conclusion thinking it must be the hand foot and mouth disease (HFM) caught in her. In no time I was rushing off to Sunway Medical Hospital, praying and hoping that nothing serious would need to be attend to.

I was glad that there's no much queuing involved at the emergency ward and I was brought to the doctor attention after only 10 minutes waiting. With routine checking and some questions asked, the doctor concluded that Syahnaz is not diagnosed with HFM. Should it be that, the first thing will take placed would be high fever caused by the virus where spots then will appeared around the hands, foot and along with ulcers around the mouth and tongue. He further explained that the fact that Syahnaz are being active running around at that hour, somehow convinced him that she is not having HFM symptoms at all. He add on by saying that the ulcers could be due to her body heat and probably because of her not drinking much water instead.

The doctor further advised to monitor Syahnaz's food intake and give her enough liquid should her appetite is still weak in order for her not to be dehydrated. I was given a choice to admit her for observation where drips will be put in her or bring her home for self monitory with 5 days course of antibiotics given for her to compulsory complete it. I was asked to bring her to the hospital immediately should she be constantly having fever one of this days. She is too under quarantine and are not allowed to be in school for the whole week.

I obviously have chosen to bring her home but a bit skeptical with the doctor's conclusion as the ulcer around her mouth and spots on her tongue is really thick, that worries me much and I'm off from work to monitor her with extra attention.

Below are some images to share. Simply double click on the images for better viewing.

Syahnaz was eating well yesterday as expected but she was having a bit of high temperature last night. I gave her fever medicine and glad that she is sleeping well then.

I'm bringing her to see our pediatrician for second opinion today. I'm crossing my fingers that nothing bad will happen and I hope that she will get well soon. I know she is missing school badly as she has been mentioning her teachers and school friends name few times today.

We shall hear then what Syahnaz's pediatrician got to say on this matter ya!

Counting My Blessings...

I have today decided to sustained a blog of my own since its always been an inspiration for me to write on how i feel of what so ever... Its also in a way a form of relieved for me to express and share thoughts that I faced in my life, my destiny and my all..



I learned as we aged, we bounced to face many or rather more unexpected things in life. I remembered well when I was 27, my sister Azlina told me that things would not be the same when you passed the age of 30. She knows better at that time as she have faced it and it makes her learned that nothing is ever constant in life except for change... I was just giving her a smile back then as I didn't want to think about it much. Now that I have somehow passed that age I realised what my sister told me 10 years back were so true... I also remembered her saying that we should at all time be grateful for what we have by looking at others who are less fortunate in life. By doing so, we will somehow feel blessed with what has been offered to us by Allah. Again, what she says is so true and I am still trying to carry it in my mind always.

I sometimes wonder what I really want in life. I'm married to a man who accept me for what I am and he is still learning hard to be a perfect husband and good father for my children. I'm gifted with two never ending rebellious teenager boys that makes my life more interesting and a chubby growing up daughter who adores me well to keep me on going. I still have an ever loving aging mother and 5 sisters that came along, whom not all but most, loved and care for me dearly for whatever and whoever I am. Besides that I'm granted with adorable nieces and nephews that have been cheering up my life constantly. Favourite family cousins and their children too, appeared to make my life cheerful at times...

Along with all above I get more lucky by having good friends, who never fail being there for me thru thick and thin for the life I'm facing all this while. What else can a person ask for then?? I now realised that I should from before and now on be grateful by counting my blessings and forever thanking allah for the rahmat he has got to offer in this life of mine ...

Wouldn't you??