Life is a Bliss....

I have abandoned my blog closed to a year now as i think life got me distracted with lots of major as well as tiny issues that for sure need to be attended to.....

Yup, life has taken me to a level that I still endure it as much as i can. Life is indeed too short to keep it wasting with negativeness.

Anyway, this blog has been ignored and neglected for a while now and the few of many good things I have much faced since i'm gone is that:

• I had a great time bringing my family including my mum and sis to Disneyland Hongkong.








• Had a lovely couple treat to Vietnam with Oleen & Nizam, Sherie & Achid. We are indeed such a crazy human being!!! Missing Jamie & Zafrul much though.







• I managed to get my first PRADA handbag from London and few other more branded stuffs that i have always been dreaming of having (a grate gratitude goes to my dear friend oleen!! - Ur the best my dear!)

• My friendship with my school mates and cousins are getting stronger (i always treasure close relationship, one who know me well will for sure agree).
  
• Throw 2 great baby shower for my precious Elona & Hayati :D







• New member on board that is Martin & Khadija. They are soooo adorable and i'm in love with them both at the first site!


• Was in Jakarta in May 2010 and had a blast! Gratitude to Halim& Elona for welcoming me.


• Celebrated Christmas in Singapore$ by bringing Syahnaz & Hubby. Jami was there too n such a great company in shopping as she is one of a woman who will drag u to BUY!!!. My dear friend Sheila played great host and i'm stunned by her fantastic gesture! I have to admit that god has granted me great friends and i can never thank him enough for that!!

• Kak rozi one of my dearest cousin has taken away her past by having another love partner. I'm so happy for her and wish all the best for her future. Its amazing to see one fall and held life again gracefully with strong attitude embrace. She was here for a great pleasue and we were in Cherating to give Zainal a new experience in being in Malaysia. Really love to see her smiling again and yes setiap dugaan yg mendatang ada hikmahnyer tersendiri.
• Me, hubby and my children had a quality time in Maya Hotel and I actually cried to have seen us all being united again as a normal family. Thank you so much Allah for this gift!
• Visited Singapore again last week. This round I took an attempt of driving on my own with the boys. We made it thru with countless doa i recited along the way. By default Sheila keep surprising me again and again with her humbleness in playing host. This time is even worst as she gave her new luxury condo only to ourselves. Thank you my dear friend and d boys too are shocked with your kindness!!!

Above all these, the thing that I have to feel more blessed about is that my boys Syahrul Emir & Syahrin Emirul is back on my side. Not really perfectly the way I wanted it but at least we now know the important of the existing of each other as much as it should. I love you my babies and I will always do so and I hope you know that well!!!

There are also some or many stained memories through all these such as:

• My favorite uncle in Spore passed away. I manage to go to d funeral, though a bit delayed for the last kiss to him. RIP and may allah bless you always arwah Pak Long. Alfatihah.
• Michael Jackson tragic death. Another schoked news and i'm still wondering if its true that he died as a muslim. I did cried as it was a sad moment and i have to admit that his music did contribute much on my teenage years as well as now :(
• I was made focused by an incident that brought to death of a dear boy named Ikhwanul Ashraf Manja. I was hooked to know him more and more where I then search him on fb and etc. He is such a fantastic boy that are being adored by family and friends. I'm in close knit we him now where i think of him a lot and even include him in my daily prayers. He make me realised that life is to short and in any ways has impact me to appreciate my son better by making them my friends and not my rival.
• Some disagreements or rather arguments between friends and family that in any ways i wish i can avoid but it seems too hard!!! Sigh :c
• My hubby finally leaving NST and i'm reluctantly giving him full freedom and accountabilty to decide what is his next step like...
• My relationship with Zafrul seems cold and i regreted for it to happen. He is one of a person that I want to have and keep for as a good friend. I still love him the same though and I want jami to know that pls!
• I'm very much worried of Zurni's health. She seems more relax that I am. Whylah???
• I do from time to time thinking of my past which i'm trying hard not to lah!
• Forgive and forgets seems hard to adapt!! Why?????

Above all these I am still grateful of the life that i'm living for. Thank you again allah! Please forever be with me and bless me and my family and also friends at all time.... Amin.

Aizat My Dream Boy...

I have been keeping quite and neglecting my blog since routines keep holding most of my time lately... But somehow today I have such an urge to write after repeating making myself hearing to "Hanya Engkau Yg Mampu" and "Lagu Kita" sang by a young boy named Aizat. I have strong feelings and connections towards this singer in many ways and it makes me felt in love with him for the reason of wanting him so much as my son...

Fond feelings for Aizat develops when I coincidently watched Akademi Fantasia 5 which at instance I saw sparkling magic in this fat boy soul that has very much attract my attention for the reason of him being resemblance to my twin son Syahrin Emirul. Not only his big figure are alike but also the sweet smile he has that a wants me to know him even more. The politeness he carries and not to forget that awesome voice he has really makes me dearly felt in love with him dramatically. Every moved he makes seems so right and perfect to me.

Eversince, I never failed following AF5 episodes, to learn and admire Aizat more till the stupidity of fellow smses freak out there drop him out from the show as obviously they are too stupid to differentiate between diamond and zircon right??

Although Aizat was out from the show, he does shines up drastically in the music industries and his extreme talent proofs well when the songs he wrote n sang was a bomb immediately when it was released. It’s a great pleasure to see such a young boy with strong determination in doing what he liked most and keep believing in himself to proof that his direction in life is right not to others but himself.

The more Aizat strike his goal, the more highly respect I have towards him and the more my love grows deeply for him. I meet Aizat at ABPH08 last February and his politeness shines up well in his eyes when my approached for photography with him was well received with a humble gestured that one can tell that this boy is raised in such a high morality. Aizat's mother should be proud for bringing up such a fine boy that I always wanted to have in my life. His character, his talent and most importantly his behaviour seems perfectly placed.

I was way too excited meeting Aizad and my conversation strikes at such:

Me: Hi there! I'm a special or a very senior fan of urs. I used to like u more when ur fat as u resemblance my rebelious 2nd twin son! How i wish ur still fat so tht i can see u more in DVD when i miss him!

AIZAT: (Looking blurr).. I really hope ur rebelious son will be treating u kind...

Me: Wut d heck!! I love u still anyway!

Aizat has lost lots of weight comparing to the first time I noticed him and again his determination proofs it all when he put himself on strict diet of not eating rice for a year. He lost all his baby fats that reminds me a lot of Syahrin Emirul but I don’t mind at all as he now end up looking like my charming elder twin son Syahrul Emir.

Anyway, I knew from the start that Aizat is the dream boy that I wish and always wanted for as a son. He has great moral values that all teenagers should adapt in order to have a better future in life. Aizat seems to know what he wants and he did it all out to proof to himself by making it happen. He excels doing what he does best and his strong determination keeps making him success of doing so. The more I’m involved in his music now the more I regret of my boys for never wanting to grab the chance of realising my dream or even worst the dream that they should have for themselves...

My prayers for my twins and Aizat's future remain...

Lagu Kita by Aizat...
Deras hatiku berdetar Di langit aku terlihat kamu Terang malam,teman kita Dengan angin meniup sayu Ku petik gitar akustik ini Dengan harapan dia mendengar Melodi indah yang ku cipta Hanya untuk mu...

Meeting The Syukor's Family Again After 17 Years....

Pakcik Syukor and Makcik Maimun came as a dear friend of my parents where my late father used to be in the service of PDRM, hence they meet and became good friends. It still clear in mind where the ever loving and cheerful couple spends some of their days at our humble home or vice versa, cherish and treasuring the esteemed friendship they developed along the way.

Having to run routines in our lives makes me lost touched and procrastinating meeting with them until an invitation arrived for their youngest son Fareed's wedding where I eventually told myself not to further delay of reuniting as I'm really excited to meet them all again..

I have to admit that the couple does not change a bit and they are blessed to have aged gracefully. If only my late abah can witness it, he will for sure agreed. The couple good looking boys are all now grown up well where I hardly recognized them, but somehow that gentleman sweet and kindness smile they inherited from Pakcik Syukor makes my instinct direct me to the right charming boys of Syukor's that I used to be close with....

Indeed the fact that we meet again makes me remember the old sweet fun time that we used to spend together during our childhood. It has been 17 years since we last meet, but it does not changed a bit of my full admiration and strong thoughts towards the Syukor's family that once contribute a meaningful and sweet memories of my lives…

Pakcik Syukor being proud father of the Bride & Groom....

My conversation with him begins as follows:

Me: Asalamualaikum Pakcik Syukor. Ingat lagi ke siapa ni?

Pakcik: Walaikumsalam... Takanlah tak ingat.. The brand is too strong and you can tell it all..

Me: Hehehehe.... (isnt he cute?? ;)

The lively Makcik Maimun... I do miss her Nogori accents and jokes a lot!!.

THE SYUKOR'S BROTHERS

Next to me is Eddy, the eldest of the 3 Syukor's brother. I hardly recognised him tho, until I was made to introduced to him again by his sibbling. We are quite an age distance a part and I think he is at the same age as my eldest sister Kak Izah. Eddy now has 2 children and are working for Celcom.

Fendi is the second who among the 3 brothers, I remembered being very close to me and my other sisters. He dint changed at all and still very friendly. Fendi has 4 children and has got his own business in town.

Finally came the youngest of the family where we used to address him as Smiley as to his full name is Fareed Shumaily... The smiley name took place well as he does have the most sweetest smile that one could simply melt their heart away... Fareed has his own agency running for MCIS Insurance. Really glad to have meet all of u again my dear...

Another Drama in Sunway Medical Centre...

Yup, I was admitted at the hospital on Saturday morning... Had dinner with my hubby and he bought Noodles Soups and Yong Tau Foo from the Pasar Malam. After slurping it all in, went to the room to attend to Anisah's call who will sleep over at my place for our Spore trip, felt dizzy and threw up everything I ate at the toilet bowl !!! Yucks!!

I then put ointments all over my tummy that was spinning like washing machines, hubby rubs it on all over my back as it was really aching, felt dizzy, rush to the toilet and threw up again and FLAT!!! Anisah finally came with her mum and sisters, get her to settle down in the room, then rush to the hospital with the mind of getting an injection to recovered fast for my fun filling trip to Spore next morning.

I was feeling very weak and was brought to the emergency ward with a wheel chair. My blood pressure droppings as I was really dehydrated from the vomiting and all. Doctor puts me on drips and gave a 2 shots to stop me from vomiting and diarrhea. After 2 hours on drips, my tummy was still aggressively spinning and I asked the doctor for pain killer and there goes another injection!! Sigh....

Me feeling really weak at the emergency ward at the first vist.

I was asked for admission but refused, thinking it would not be nice for me to cancel my Singapore trip especially when me and Anisah has been talking and yacking about it for the whole week. Plans too has been made for me and her to explore the food we have been craving and missing much. With full of determination and anxious to it, I insist of proceeding for the trip and came home from the hospital.

Reached home about 3.30am and start packing. Anisah helped me with the packing and all the way convinced me that I shoul feel better in no time. I can read her mind well that she really wants me to make it for the trip. I was taking it easy on packing and my stomach was rumblings and making noises, alarming me to cancel the trip but I insist of going!!

Left home for the airport and I'm fighting inside to feel well. Half way thru I SPLASHED it all out again and this time the feeling was even worst as I really felt nausea with my head spinning like a wheel. I then finally drop the issue of going to Singapore....

Arrived at the airport and dropped Anisah and her mum off. I then rushed to the Sunway Medical Center feeling bad to have made Anisah leave without me.

There I was again at the emergency ward on the wheel chair. Same doctor attended to me feeling confused why the medication didn’t work for me as the shot I took its quite strong and should stop me from vomiting by right. Like I should know whylah??? I then noticed there are thick hives all around my body that the doctor figured out it must be caused of the pain killer shot that I took earlier. It is really itchy everywhere and for that another jap are in me in order to get rid of the hives. There it goes and I'm on drips again and straight for admission.

I was earlier upset with the nurses at the emergency room. One of them kept making mistakes in putting needles in my hand for the drips to be in, leaving me having few bleeding pokes around my hand. They too were making noises by talking loudly and having a good time cracking stupid dirty jokes and not attending to my request of getting the breakfast ready as I was really feeling hungry after all the vomiting and diarrhea. I actually stamped to one of them and his reply was 'Saya dah minta dah tapi dorang tak bawa kat sini saya tak boleh nak buat apa....' Can meh???? Errrrr..... I was too weak to further reply at his stupid reckless answer.

Finally I was resting in bed and got attended by more professional staffs. I was referred to Dr. Lim Kie Nyok, the Gastroenterologist & Hepatoligist. He was really nice and friendly I thought. I strongly recommend him should anyone needs G&H specialist attention.

Dr Lim's Consultation with me begins like this:

Dr Lim: Hi there!! I'm Dr. Lim! So, what makes a beautiful lady like you here?? What have you been eating.

Me: I told him the stories. He then press my yummy and do the routine check up.

Dr Lim: So, tell me! Are you a naughty girl??

Me: Huh? Well, I don't drink and smoke..

Dr Lim: Ok! I meant are you on any reckless slimming pills or herbs detox slim medication that might stressed and hurt your tummy??

Me: I don't, but i do have the intention to do so...

Dr. Lim: Well dear, I can tell you the best is still exercise and please avoid all the unnecessary things ok. Anyway, I think you have symptoms of food poisoning. The reactions to it is just to flushed away all the bad bacteria you have in your tummy.

Me: When can I be fully recovered Dr.?

Dr Lim: Depend on the type of contaminant and the amount eaten. The symptoms can develop rapidly, within 30 minutes, or slowly, worsening over days to weeks. Most of the common contaminants cause nausea, vomiting, diarrhea, and abdominal cramping. Usually food poisoning is not serious, and the illness runs its course in 24-48 hours. Avoid strong foods that makes your tummy works hard for digestions and be a good girl. You need to be on soft diets and If there’s no fever, you can be made home tomorrow.

Me: ;). Thanks doctor!!

I was really happy with the doctor. He was not that good looking but indeed charming and friendly in his approach. Well done Dr. Lim!!

Syahnaz was so sweet telling me that she have talk to Allah today to help me fel better... Auch! I'm touched ;)

Kak Ina's boys bringing more joy in the ward...

True enough as the doctor says, I felt much better and got discharged from the hospital today. I have to thank all my friends for making time to visit, even though it was nothing serious at all. To name few, Teresa, Terrynz, NS, Aida, Uni, Lan, Oleen, Sherie and Achid. Kak Ina and family too, who insist to visit today even I'm about to discharged. Not forgetting the smses I received from all especially Jami who is away, Haya, Tikie, Nat and Adeen too. Thank you all for being concern on my conditions. It really helps and is an add on remedies for me to recover faster knowing that you people do really care for me.

Above all, million thanks for my hubby's patient in attending to me at all times when needed… I do appreciate it all my heart...

Lovely flowers from Teresa & Terrynz... Thanks dear.. Muahz! My hubby actually suggested that I should use the flowers for mandi bunga??? Whutever???

Precious Twins of Mine...

I'm so happy to came across my twin boys photos that was captured at my friends wedding 9 years ago. They were 9 years old back then and was really cute to see. Looking at it makes me really missing and wanting them dearly. I just wish they stop growing at that age as that was the moment I was really needed most by them. The twins used to nagged me on things and will agitate me by teasing around with each other that lead them both quarrelling and run to me just to make me listen to who triggers who incident among them. At that point of time all I could remembered was being annoyed and would constantly telling them off to stop doing so. And that instance my wish was for them to grow up fast!!!

Emirul my second twin is always known as the cunning one who are born talented and also book and street smart. Emirul will always be the leader between them both and Emir is just a plain follower who cant decide on things most of the time. Emir too is born with brilliant IQ but somehow get over shadowed by his twin brother who are fortunately are gifted to manipulate and balance between book smart and street smart equally, that makes him more confident in making decisions at all times.

Emir would just obliged and agreed to his younger brother as he prefers joining him and get punished by it together rather left alone with nothing to do. I normally blamed Emir for Emirul's mistakes and keep reminding that as a big brother, he should take care of his 16 minutes younger brother by making sure his brother will not misbehaved and that if he does, its Emir that need to be punished more as he is being irresponsible for allowing it to happen.

As they grow, the contrast between both of them seems more obvious where Emirul stand with his own principal in life and that if its for better or worst are just besides the point. The bad thing about it is that he tend to be overconfident with himself and lead life by making decision with what he believed and that opinions of others are just not relevant to think about.

Emir on the other hand is so indecisive in whatever he does and would just stick to being a skeptical follower to whoever happen to be more manipulative and outstanding at that point of time. That carries him with no determination with any things he held or does and end up it being incomplete should there be any interference that may come along the way.

At teenager's life that full of exciting movements they are at now, my concerned and opinions meant nothing at all but just plain extreme nuisance for them to listen. I end up being a bad person who don’t seems to understand them at all resulting them creating distance towards me. I then bare their painful statement or actions by shutting myself off towards their satisfaction.

When scenerio like this occured, I just wish the twins are still my little cuddling boys where they will turn to me with hugs and kisses even when I'm at my highest level anger mode. I have to admit that I do miss the time they used to nagged me to come back home fast simply to hear them telling and asking me for things or even quarrelling for it...

In whatever age or behavior they are into, I believed my love for him will be placed the same as the first time their heart beat grown in me 17 years back... I can't wait for the day to come where I will be made important again in their life... Hope it would not be too long from now as waiting is just too pain to swallow most of the time... Insyallah..

Ilustrations of Love on Valentine's Day...

What is Valentine to me???'

For me, Valentine is just a special day to shout about, in order for our loved ones to notice or realised on the existing of each other's love.

After being together for a certain period its normal for a person to take things for granted with each other even with or without realising it. By giving an alarm on the coming of Valentine day, at least we can just use it as an excused to get intimate with each other even for just one day at least... By celebrating it with dinner and a little gift, I can assure you that the love feelings will be waken up and you will then realised that you are somehow appreciated.

To me, Valentine is just a day to celebrate our love with the person that means everything to you and its got nothing to do with any religious matters.

I received a valentine card from my darling Syahnaz which she got it done in school, meant for me and my hubby. I can tell you it does makes us feel special in every ways...

Yesterday, she had made some sketches at my cousin's place elaborating on our family love on Valentine's day.

I thought it is very sweet of her to do so, and it really makes me proud of her in understanding what love is all about...

Daddy...

Syahnaz..

Mummy...

Mummy, Daddy & Syahnaz...



Abang @ Kokok...

Syahnaz illustrations of our Family Potrait...

She keeps mentioning how much she loves each of us while drawing this. There's only one abang here, as the other one is helping mama da it seems. The tiny image in between Daddy and Kokok is her baby sister in mummy's tummy... Hehehehe ;D

In her dreams I guess....

A Mother's Love...

I was at my cousin's place in Ampang for lunch yesterday, after her pastering me to come over to collect a dress that her husband bought for Syahnaz sometime ago. She was too paranoid if I further delayed the visit, the dress might not fit Syahnaz as she knows that my daughter keeps growing up fast or in other words that Syahnaz loves eating and never stop putting on weight. It was so sweet and thoughtful of both of them to have bought Syahnaz the dress which fits well accept for a bit tied on the chest part. If only I have taken it earlier kan. Hhmmm….

I take the opportunity to make Anisah cook my favourite ''ayam kicap'' which is second best compared to my mum's. There she goes cooking it with additional dishes consist of butter prawn, long beans with fishballs, daging kijang goreng kunyit and ikan parang masak chili padi. It was so yummy that I ate twice which is for lunch and before I leave her house thinking it will be months after I will taste my favorite dish again.

After threating me the fantastic foods, I was made to accompany Anisah to bring lunch at school for her youngest daughter who is now in Primary 1. To my disbelieved, she has been doing this and never failed doing it ever since her daughter starts school last month. Anisah will simply be there just to accompany her child during recess time, to feed her and to attend to the child request of buying things at the canteen. She even go to the extend of walking the child to her class once recess time is over.

I was stunted by her actions and concluded that she loved doing this as a routine and refused to let go of her child for the fact of a pure mother's love... It is truly deep and unconditional love that appears clearly from her eyes when she patiently feed the lunch she cooked meant for her innocent child.

I also in the same time thought that such actions will lead the child of not being independent. But I guess, there's a long way to go for the child to be on her own and Anisah's child is super lucky to have tasted and felt her mother's endless love to the fullest....

I somehow wonder whether all these sacrifice will be paid off without any rebellious actions that normally given by the children at this era. Would they turn up to be up to our expectations??? Would they be going against us when we are no more needed or wanted?? What if they only be seeing our bad points rather than the opposite? Well, should any of these happen, I must say it would be a such a tremendous hurt for all parents I’m sure...

I would stress my thoughts here that as a son or a daughter, one must not forget the hardships and sufferings that their mothers have gone through in bringing up life and taking good care of them. Otherwise, I personally feel he or she is worse off than a beast. Mothers brought up their children whole heartedly with ultimate compassion and sympathy. It may be in various forms or ways but still, it is the same type of unconditional love.

I always believe that I have given my all and the best to my children. I am now hoping that they will in return willingly cherish me with their tender love and care when I’m old and not much needed by them…

My deepest and sincere thanks to all mothers in the world can only be expressed as follows:

British English: Thank you very much, my dearest mums! I love you!
Mandarin: Feichang Xiexienin, Wo Qinai de mama! Wo ai nin!
Malays: Terima kasih buat ibuku tersayang! Saya cinta padamu, ibu!
Japanese: Doomoarigatoo, watashi no okaasan! Aishiteru yo!
Korean: Taedanhi kamsahamnida, ne sarang hanun omma! Sarangheyo!
Spanish: Muchas gracias, mi querida mama! Te quiero!

Mother's love is indeed very great and priceless!